Posts

II.

I feel trapped in my life. Not by one thing in particular, but by all things. There are many things that I want to do. Dreams, life goals, once in a life time experiences. Even down to the temptations in my life. I want to act on them. I might act on them. I probably won't act on them. What if? That's always the question. It's the question that plagues me daily. We're not meant to do the same thing every day all our lives. Are we even meant to stay in the same place or keep the same company?

I.

I'm not really writing to say anything. I'm just trying to keep my thoughts in order, which proves more difficult to do day by day. I struggle to find a balance between work, family, and personal. Take more time for one, and lose that time for another. There's never a balance. It's a never ending cycle. Anxiety and depression is a wicked combo. I mostly keep to myself about it on a day to day basis. I'm never really sure what I want to say. When I do figure out how to voice it, I hold back out of fear that I'll sound like an idiot. Unfortunately, when my demons show through, it comes off as hostility. Someone calls me out on it every time. I stay quiet more often than not. The people around me tend to stay happier that way.